post #80!

(wow so fast!)

recently, i've realised that i enjoy having time to myself, and being just alone. not really being a loner, but rather more of treasuring the time that i can just sit down and think over things that have happened in my life.

it's not that i don't like people's company, i do! it's just that recently i've found out this great and very true truth: that the greater the proportion of your time spent in hidden, quiet meditation, the study of God and His word, the more ready and able you are to handle the things of life that come rushing at you.

i used to hate being alone cos i always felt so empty, but now i'm not any more. in fact recently i've been enjoying my alone time more than being with people.

i think the best kind of silence in the world is where your heart and mind is at peace, at rest, and where thoughts and feelings don't come rushing at you like crazy, but rather slowly and smoothly. and despite the fact the all around you the world is getting out of control, in your heart the only thing you can hear is God's still, small voice saying, "be still and know that I am God."

the next best kind of silence in the world is the one where two friends can just sit comfortably in each others' presence silently, without saying a word. (:

it's at these times that, even though we don't speak, i feel we're connecting through a deeper language, like one that only the depths of our heart and soul can speak. you know that sort of feeling which you can't describe using words? yes, that kind!

somehow i don't seem to be able to do that with anybody any more. most times i find myself talking incessantly to attempt to cover up the silence, or, in short, awkward silences, struggling to find the right things to say.

another thing i've been thinking about for quite a while, but never got the chance to say it, is that i feel very blessed. (:

seriously!

i truly truly truly never knew how blessed it was to be born in a christian family until this year, where the people around me from non-christian families started getting to know Christ, and are 'persecuted' in a sense, at home.

family persecution is probably something i won't understand because it's something i've never been through, but all i can say is that looking at their problems in contrast to my carefreeness, i don't think i'll ever take going to church for granted again.

i think God has blessed me in very marvellous, wondrous ways these past few weeks, and i am very very thankful for everything He has given me.

truly, thank God! (: