church camp 2009 is over! now i'm having withdrawal symptoms. ):

but thank God for a beautiful beautiful camp! (: i wouldn't say that it was fantastic and i don't miss camp as much as i did last year but it has been a very meaningful camp for me.

(i guess as you grow older, like what my mummy says, you get more mature and you look forward to good things ahead instead. (: like, cyc next week!)

God spoke to me in a lot of ways and now some questions that i've been having are finally resolved. friendships found, friendships lost, but i believe, still all part of God's perfect plan. some hurt, some pain, but still in the end it's the joy that lasts. (:

I MISS CAMP.

yesterday when i was walking around the place to say goodbye, i walked into the message room and sat down and i suddenly felt so i-don't-know-how-to-say-this. it's like it finally hits you hard that this year's camp is over, that you won't get to sit there and be fed with messages every morning and night, and that's the part i know i'm going to miss the most. it's always very refreshing to listen and soak in God's word everyday, day and night. i miss that already.

and i miss the morning walks yew weng and i had, talking about a lot of things i've been wanting to talk about.

i miss spending time with esther, our first afternoon on the swing, then a lot of other random conversations which i've enjoyed.

i miss random conversations with jien too. he's one person i've been meaning to talk to also because he thinks like me (haha i think!), but didn't really get a lot of chances because of certain things that happened.

and i also miss swimming and talking to xiaofen, somehow i got closer to her this camp but it seems like our conversations never finished properly. but thank you anyway for sharing some things with me, it felt like old times again. (:

and there are so many other people, like sharon, carol, daniel, vern, jiahui, james and a lot more i was very happy to talk to and spend time with. (:

it's always in camp, i feel, that you should really take the opportunity to talk and talk to people because you'll never get to do that on saturdays/sundays. and i thank God that this camp has been meaningful because the messages were good, i've learnt a lot, and the conversations i had were all meaningful too. (: it's definitely not a wasted camp.

most of all i think i miss the time spent with God which i'll never get to spend when i'm in school. times alone on the swing, walking down on the beach, lying on the bed, sitting on the sofa-chair in the message room, thinking (not emo-ing okay) about a lot of stuff and talking to God have been very lovely. (: ultimately it's still my God who understands me the best, because when your heart is so broken that you don't know how to tell people what you're feeling it's really super comforting and wonderful to know that God doesn't need words for you to tell Him how much it hurts. He already knows. (: and i can say He works in amazing ways to lift you up!

thanks so much for loving me, God. (:

last thought: i think i got fat this camp. eeek. ):

oh oh and i broke my sleeping record! for the first time in my teenage life (since 13) i slept FOURTEEN hours. FOURTEEN. and not even two phonecalls woke me up. goodness.