I DO NOT LIKE TUMMY ACHES. ):

i have no idea why but my tummy hurts. it's does funny things whenever i eat, and i've been trying not to eat but if i don't eat i get hungry. i don't know what's going on. ):

this holiday has been productive (in my opinion!) even though i haven't done a lot of work other than a bit of chem and reading up on death penalties in singapore, but somehow, i feel satisfied. i realised i don't need to do work and cross things out on my to-do list to make me happy, it takes more than that.

as to what i've been doing to make me happy, i shan't tell you. (: if you wanna know come ask me yourself and i'll share my secret! it's the secret to being happy (for me at least!) (:

since everybody has been sharing about kajang, i think i will, too.

there's no word to describe this mission trip, strangely. i usually need just one/a few words and that sums up all i feel in general but this round there's none. i can tell the story but it's so full even though it was a short trip that i don't even know where to start and where to end.

still, in all, i am thankful.

i have been very much encouraged by the zeal and passion that uncle ren muh, aunty jinda and the three girls have for our Lord. they have been through a lot and yet they are still so strong and they keep trying even though it's so hard. i know i wouldn't like to be their place, far away from your home church and keeping faith in another land, but they have shown to make good progress and that really encourages me.

i managed to find time to spend with my God, searching for Him in quiet times and i'm glad that i had such an opportunity even though we were busybusybusy. (: i can say i've learnt a lot more about myself, too and got back in touch with God, and i'm really thankful for that 1-2 hours under the night sky the last night. (please don't worry about me i was not emo-ing i was spending time with God) (:

thank God also for yew weng who came outside to the gate and talked to me for a longggg time and helped me get a bit of myself straight. (: i was dying for someone to talk to me and you were an answer to prayer!

and the time on the swings was WOW. i really loved every moment because we (james, norman, ji en and i) had a really deep discussion about God and salvation and it was enjoyable because, nobody does that any more. (lame reason but it's true.)

i wish we could have more open sharing sessions as a group because somehow i felt that reflection-and-sharing that night was rushed. i think ji en felt it too, and because of that i felt that we didn't conclude this mission trip very properly. it was like as if something was missing, we didn't complete it, but oh well that seems to be just the two of us. it's a strange feeling that even i don't know how to describe, but yeah.

i realised i'm still searching for something, something more than just surface things. i don't know how to explain what i feel but i somehow i think i badly crave for deeper fellowship and more heart-to-heart talks. (i wish my girlfriends had more time i seem to be talking to guys a lot more these days what is wrong with me.) i'm still looking, and someday when i am satisfied i will probably be able to explain it, but for now, haha, i don't know.

this has been a longlong post i hope i haven't bored you! if i'm not clear enough and you don't understand me please come and ask what i mean i will be more than happy to talk and sort my own confused mind out too. (: i wish i was more articulate like some people are.

oh, and if anybody is an expert on death penalties in singapore PLEASE let me consult you i will be forever grateful!